I will be available for a limited number of sessions in San Jose between February 16-19, and you MUST book your session before the 16th. Traveling and hotel rooms and such.

A few posts back I wrote a little bit about how difficult it is for men in this patriarchal society to be put in positions of power by default because of their gender. For guys that are more submissive this is a very difficult position to be in. Well, I found a really excellent blog article by a man experiencing this exact issue in his life. Torafu- tiger in bondage: Power Play.  Balancing society’s expectations and our own personal feelings is complicated, but people manage it all the time. The playspace is a world outside of time and space where we can transform and release our secret selves, safe from the outside world.

(and if the author of the article is who I think he is, I met him once briefly a few years ago, and he’s very sweet and cute.)

I’m really surprised how many of my clients and submissives admit to having financial problems during or after a session. I’ve heard about foreclosures, expensive car repairs, and many many clients with enormous credit card debt. One of the credit card debt clients might have been talking about that as part of his findom fetish, but the others I believe were genuine problems and not a fetish. As a stripper in the months before September 2001 guys would brag about investments. As a prodomme 2011 I hear about the financial problems. It’s sort of strange. On one hand it makes sense that a guy under a lot of stress wants some BDSM relief, but it’s also an entertainment expense that could be taken out of the budget when you need expensive car repairs. It does make sense that after a session a guy feels enough relief, comfort and trust that he feels he can open up about a recent foreclosure.

It makes it really difficult to play findom when I know that so many guys are really honestly struggling and unhappy with their situations and not getting off on it. I’ve been very concerned that my rates are fair and reasonable for clients with a wide range of income levels, but it’s starting to get difficult to wallet rape the guys that like it. I’m a lot more cautious about findom clients right now. I guess I’m just a very sensitive domme. I am very happy that my Spanish foot slave got accepted into a credit consolidation program that I went through a few years back. Maybe I need to approach findom in a way that’s more about control and management.

(What is findom anyway?)

I never really officially announced my blip.tv site because it’s still a work in progress, but I have one! I don’t like using youtube because I don’t feel safe there as a sex worker, and blip.tv is very sexuality content friendly.

This video is courtesy of an anonymous fan of mine. I received a holiday gift but the note got cut off so I have no clue who the gift came from. Since nobody has come forward to claim their video or pics of me enjoying the item I created this video for everyone to enjoy. Never mind the unflattering camera angle. I just didn’t have the patience to set up a better angle.

I found this really great article by Laura Agustin with pictures of strong women taking care of themselves, Women Doing Things: not waiting to be saved. Agustin is author of Sex at the Margins: Migration, Labour Markets and the Rescue Industry, which pretty much destroys all the common misconceptions about sex trafficking and migration. I have a special place for her work in my heart because she’s able to effectively cut through the bullshit and present solid facts and research. Sex workers are often viewed as victims, brainwashed by the patriarchy, lacking personal agency, and poor unfortunate souls that need saving. It’s amazing how often I hear this sort of commentary coming from someone who self-identifies as progressive or feminist when it’s clearly not a progressive or feminist stance. I also hear comments about how women didn’t start working outside of the home until some recent time when in fact a lot of women throughout history have worked outside of the home, even back in medieval times. I know most all of my readers here understand the power of women in a fetish or BDSM setting, but I’m not convinced that everyone understand the implications of these facts out in the real world. Mistress says, educate yourself about the facts of common women’s lives!

I don’t often receive calls from guys that are totally clueless or don’t seem to understand how phone sex works, but when I do it sure as hell annoys me. For example, I received a call from a guy and I was trying to get information about him so I could properly humiliate him. He wanted race play, which I will do sometimes when I’m in the mood, but he wouldn’t give me any more information beyond being a black male that wanted to be called n***er. I asked him what size his cock was, was he married or have a girlfriend, what does he look like, how old, etc. and he answered every question with some variation of “whatever you like.” Well in that case, whatever I like is you telling ME an erotic story or me sitting and watching movies while I ignore you.  If you can’t even answer my simple questions, or make up replies, then I can’t come up with a sexy scenario. If you just want me to yell n***er into the phone over and over again just say so up front instead of making up bullshit no response answers to my questions. I’m more than happy to pull out my tarot cards and give you a sexy reading, but there usually isn’t anything in the cards that would specifically tell me your fetishes and kinks.

A favorite blog on the subject by Mistress DeMilo “Being a submissive is not a euphemism for being a lazy uncommunicative greedy little pig.”

Call from outside the US: 1-877-44-SUGAR ext. 21569

Call now: 1-800-863-5478 ext: 9466991

I’ve been encountering a lot of folks that are struggling this year, myself and close friends included. I’ve had some pretty dark holiday seasons in the past, and these things just happen. It’s been a stressful year for most all of us. If you are struggling I want you to reach out for help. I will be available for sessions over the holidays if you want to treat yourself or if you just want to be with someone outside of your situation from your dreams. If you just want someone to hug and snuggle for a little while I am more than happy to do that type of session too. When I was a stripper I was always surprised how many guys bought a lapdance and really just wanted a hug.

If you are in crisis right now and feel you could possibly harm yourself please reach out! Call 1-800-273-TALK for support in many many types of situations. I know there can be a lot of shame surround mental health and asking for help. They won’t send the cops to your house or anything like that, and nobody ever has to know you made that call.

December 17th is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. Join us for a Jazz Funeral at San Francisco Center for Sex & Culture 7-10pm Saturday Dec 17th  http://on.fb.me/sJUAOZ

It looks like it will be a really exciting event and I hope to see some of my fan, submissives and friends there to support my work and the work of all sex workers. The social stigma surrounding this industry really gets to me sometimes, so I’m always excited to be around other sex workers, and our allies and admirers. It would mean a lot to me to see some of you there. If you have an interest in me as a person and not just a femdom bot performance I encourage you to be there!

This week I am back on cam! I’m going to be focusing on doing a lot of foot and footwear fetish shows because I still have some lingering carpal tunnel and back problems, but FEET!! You know you want them in your face. I got my start as a pro-domme doping foot sessions, and I got my start as a porn webmistress doing a foot fetish site. I’ve always loved my feet and I miss doing all the foot fetish work that I did a few years back. My feet are still as gorgeous and glorious as ever. I will be on cam Wednesday evening, and Thursday and Friday afternoons at Mistress Roxxie’s Femdom Cam Site. Follow my anything goes all candid twitter for any last minute updates. I am also available for cam sessions by appointment through my exclusive Femdom fetish cam.

Being in power is a tremendous burden to a lot of men. The patriarchy weighs heavy on many men’s shoulders. I know you like to give up all that power and get rid of that burden by doing things for me. There is a tremendous amount of freedom in giving up control and dutifully serving a Femdom. I know you think about submission and that heavy burden of responsibility on your shoulders at work. How many people do you supervise? How many female subordinates do you have to trample down in your hierarchy? You need to give your self and your life up to a greater purpose, Me. Stop participating in a system that subjugates women. You no longer need to make difficult decisions or worry about what you might want. You want what I want. You become an adored little pet and you feel tremendous pleasure sitting at my feet ready to serve. Submission is a joyous experience and it might even have spiritual significance for you. You can be blessed with this submissive joy when you submit to me.